October 18, 2011
Unloved
Recently I was in a
situation where I not only felt underappreciated, but also unloved. I struggled
with confronting the issue because I didn’t want to sound like a child who was having
a pity party. Really, how do you tell someone that their actions make you feel
unimportant and used like a doormat? In my soul searching I heard Jesus asking
Peter, “Simon son
of John, do you truly love me more than these…Simon son of John, do you truly
love me…Simon son of John, do you love me?” (John 21:15-17 NIV)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Gail;
-----The real question is, “How soon do you require someone to know their actions make you feel unimportant and used?” It is an important question because the rule of thumb (meant to have exceptions) is that the more sudden revelation is usually made by the more ungodly delivery. For eaxmple, a really sudden delivery leaves the offender wiping blood off his lip and the offended wiping it off his fist. More subtle and effective deliveries take time. This is why patience is fruit of the Holy Spirit.
-----What makes patience so doable is the vetting of the question itself. What is it that really makes me feel unimportant and used like a doormat? Even more at the heart of the issue, what actually makes me unimportant and used like a doormat regardless of what makes me feel that way? And wasn't Jesus? The latter questions almost make the former dismissible. The reason I say they almost do is because people’s feelings, right or wrong, are important to them, therefore, their feelings must also be important to you. If not, you can not say another person is important to you. That is a significant coin to examine, in this case, because the other side is relevant to the vetting of the question at hand. How important to that other person must you demand your feelings be? OK! Now we understand! Love does not demand its own way. But it can at least ask.
-----Maybe. Vet the rest of the question. What actually makes for unimportance and doormat use. I think being treated with godlessness is the most prominent observation. So, what’s godlessness? In terms of treatment, I think we can see God being a laissez-faire capitalist. He lets His creatures operate by their own wills. That’s pretty laissez-faire. In His perfect heaven, that costs Him the opportunity to control everyone like heartless little robots. Not a great cost. But from that cost He receives a whole lot of love. A goodly profit! Love’s a pretty good thing. In fact, it’s rather basic. It is kind of an interest in benefiting everyone involved. (Hate is interest in benefiting only the self.) So, to treat one another godly, we can be a bit laissez-faire capitalist, too. We‘ve got to allow people to be what they are going to be and to do what they are going to do. Really, we can’t change them. So, if we incur this bit of appropriate cost appropriately, we should expect some love in return. That would be some recognition of our interest by the other party, maybe a smile, or a hug, just a little thankfulness, a good deed, or even a few greenbacks for the ole wallet.
-----Almost everyone will appropriately transact with you at some level. If there is time for actual relationship, a little wisdom might lead somebody through a series of transactions to the realization that they rendered you unimportant and used like a doormat, if just outright saying something wouldn't be more appropriate. The key is patience. But if nothing works, you’ll just have to do like all businesses must eventually do with bad accounts and write it off to bad debts. It’s kind of a forgiveness thing for incomplete transactions that sends your love anyway. After all. That is of ultimate importance - sending your love.
Love you all,
Steve Corey
Post a Comment