February 24, 2010
Eye to Eye
I recently had a lengthy conversation with a man that avoided eye contact and only occasionally looked at me. We certainly understood the words we were saying to one another, but I can’t say that we saw eye to eye, because I couldn’t see his eyes. It really was disconcerting. Jesus said, “Your eye is the lamp of your body…” (Luke 11:34a ESV) and my Bible footnote on this verse says, “An eye that is healthy describes a spiritually healthy way of looking at things.” Turning that thought around, I wonder if those looking into our eyes can see our spiritual health.
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Gail;
-----I think too much is made of eye contact itself. Of course, no eye contact at all is discomforting. But so is the continuous gaze into your eyes. Some people look away while lying to you. Some look away while searching for appropriate words or concepts. Others are as honest as are the most of us, but simply feel too inferior to look their listeners in the eye; maybe they have been too honest about their own shortcomings. Some cultures expect full eye contact, yet others expect none. That also must be factored into the mix. Eye contact, body language, facial expression, vocal pitch, tone, volume, and cadence all form the mixture of communication which we so take for granted.
-----Most of us know this mix by nature and can not merely know what a person is saying but can also perceive where the speaker is coming from in general. Others know it very well and become more vulnerable to the great actor, because even they can never know specifically. For better or for worse, God has granted each person a veil of privacy which can be pierced only by knowledge of details. So, even though I pay attention to eye contact, and to the rest of the mix as well, I take these simply as clues to a person’s current feelings and attitudes, which are clues to spiritual health.
-----But many known details about someone and his circumstances will add even more certain indication. John tells us to test the spirits of the prophets to see if they are of God. (I John 4:1) I believe that is what the Bereans were doing by searching into the Word. For it is the Word that is the double edged sword able to divide soul and spirit. Still, we can probe the spiritual health of another only so far, because it is in viewing the details of the person, the circumstances, and the issues through the Word that discerns the spirit. The basic truth about anyone’s spiritual health is ultimately discerned by only the Spirit, for not even one’s own self knows the full extent of either the details or the Word. So, finally, I leave certain determination of spiritual health up to the Spirit. And if I have to know, I will keep my determination open for revision.
Love you all,
Steve Corey
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