November 15, 2010
Center of Attention
One of the things funerals have in common, is they are usually orchestrated by the funeral director and his staff. First you are shown where to sign the memorial book and then you are led to your seat. Once the service is over you’re dismissed row by row to walk past the open casket. You then reverently stand around waiting for the family to finish their goodbyes to their loved one so that you can offer your condolences. Last Friday we had a funeral at our church and one lady later told me, “I really liked that service. It was good and it reminded me of the wakes they used to have years ago.” Although there are many physical characteristics in our building that make people feel comfortable, the lack of organized control is what lets people come together. Rather than exiting in single file, our pastor simply announces, “You’re dismissed.” People immediately start milling around visiting, while others filter past the casket…or not. It’s interesting that even though the deceased is still in the room, it’s the living that becomes the focal point of the gathering.
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3 comments:
Gail;
-----One could actually write a book on the center of attention. We have some kind of compelling need to categorize things. And that is not all bad, because categorization is what allows us to observe differences. The discernment of differences gives rise to knowledge. Of course, by experience and by the statement of God’s Word, knowledge is important. But some things can sort into diametrically opposed categories. The center of attention is one which can sort into both the category of being proper and the category of being improper.
-----An individual being a center of attention is not only proper, in the first sense, but it is also an inescapable state of being. This temporal life is defined by limitation. A person’s mind is naturally limited within its own body. It is a point of both information reception and information disbursement limited to the five physical senses for reception and to the actual motions of the body for disbursement. All of this is elementary. And between the reception of information and the disbursement of it, the mental and emotional processes making meaning of that information are even more highly centered within the self. Though we have numerous shared concepts which guide processes of making meaning from information within the self, even these concepts are understood and engaged only according to the unique experiences and consequential discernments had by any one individual. Everything we know by the secondary processes of reasoning, faith, and imagination cannot be fully articulated within the self because they have not come to the center of attention by first hand experience.
-----You made a statement which should be as prominent in the minds of man as is the Grand Canyon upon the map of Arizona, “...the lack of organized control is what lets people come together.” Every individual is a center of attention for the affairs of life effecting that particular person. Some of those affairs are very personally and significantly about that person, forking his own food from his plate to his mouth, for example. And they must remain that way. Other affairs are about recognizing the same centers of attention within the ones beside himself. For example, there might be some sharing of what would go onto one’s own plate when there has been observation of another’s empty plate. That aspect of recognizing the centers of attention around a person involves all issues of life - physical, mental, and spiritual.
-----Self as the center of attention categorizes as bad when such recognition of others’ centers of attention is denied. That denial itself rests in two categories. The most commonly recognized is simply paying attention to self and not to others. The other is more heinous, and unfortunately, to some extent, is present in every church fellowship. It is to think the meanings articulated by one’s own self only through reason, faith, or imagination are essential for others to articulate within themselves as well. We saw the destructive effects of this self centeredness in the XYZ church, and we see it politically in the ideologies of fascism, socialism, and communism. These are efforts towards central control encroaching upon the belongings of individual interrelationships. But to “...outdo one another in showing honor.” (Rom12:10b) is to back away from the temptation to control what is none of one's one business.
Love you all,
Steve Corey
Gail,
I'm happy so many people liked my grandma's funeral. I liked it too. It was about who Grandma was..she was full of life and she wouldn't have wanted everyone to sit around and be sad.
Hi Bonnie,
As much as Sylvia was a pleasure to know, her funeral was just as much a pleasure to attend. Thanks for sharing her with us!
Gail
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