January 08, 2013
Fixer-Upper
Couples in serious
dating relationships are often cautioned to re-consider the idea of marriage if
they have any thoughts about changing the other person. It’s interesting how we
can view a person with different habits and personalities as being a fixer-upper.
I sometime wonder if people don’t come to Jesus with a similar pre-disposition.
We become the Bride of Christ, but then we’d like to do a little fixing-up on
the Jesus we fell in love with. Rather than conforming to the likeness of Christ,
we subconsciously expect Him to become more like us. “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the
likeness of his Son…” (Ro 8:29a NIV)
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1 comment:
Gail;
-----Beyond interesting, it is arrogant to consider people fixer-uppers simply because they have different habits and personalities. Moreover, it demeans the person so considered, and it diminishes the understanding of the person doing the considering. Different is merely a comparative notation. It makes no description of the subjects compared or evaluation of their propriety. It simply notes that they are not the same. So different habits are not necessarily bad habits. In fact, they could be better habits.
-----Then I beg to differ with folks who say marriage should be reconsidered if there are any thoughts about changing the other person, because some difference is because of bad. And every one of us has bad. Propounding the perfection of your beloved is romantic, not factual. Romance calibrates real emotions according to make-believe perceptions. Emotions effect attitudes and tones of thought. Good emotions affect good thoughts, and that is constructive to a relationship. So romance is great. Maybe even necessary. But reality must remain directive.
-----It is just plain real that nobody is what they ought to be. We are all short of many marks. We are all fixer-uppers. And if we are not yet fixer-uppers after sixty years of marriage has gloriously fixed us up, then the marriage has stopped going to where good marriages go - further and further into the better. God promises us all of the prosperities of lives lived righteously. And the more right we can help one another to become, the more prosperity we get to enjoy. Good marriage always achieves more fixing up. One of the important things Paul consistently entreats us to do is to edify one another. Since marriage is relationship on steroids, a good marriage involves edification on steroids. And edification is the only real form of fix-up.
-----When I married Char, I indeed considered her a fixer upper. And that was out of my love for her. But that love would have been no love at all unless I not only considered myself to be her fixer-upper, but also that I yearned for the her fixing effect to come upon me. It was so when I married her. It is so today. It will remain so until I draw my last breathe. And if when in heaven I find I was not being real about this, then at least I will have been romantic.
Love you all,
Steve Corey
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