February 18, 2013

Mind Your Own Business (MYOB)

A recent submission to an advice column was about a married man having an affair with a single woman for over a year. Apparently the wife is unaware, even though it is a small town. The question from the writer is, ‘should I write an anonymous note to the wife, or should I MYOB’. The advice given was that if you are not close to the situation, you should MYOB. I have a completely different take on the issue. I feel the writer should go, not to the wife, but rather to the offenders – the husband and the mistress. It is acceptable to go to the perceived offenders and not only warn them about the rumor mill, but also let them know sympathies are favoring the wife. Exposing the rumor will give the offenders an opportunity to stop the rumor, stop the affair, or stop their deception because eventually someone in town will tell the wife. Paul’s directives on giving a warning are applicable to anyone who should feel ashamed of their actions. “If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.” (2 Th 3:14-15 NIV)

1 comment:

Steve Corey said...

Gail;

-----God isn’t so tyrannical and arrogant that sin is sin just because He says it is. It is sin because it is destructive and deceitful. It ruins situations and things and feelings and perceptions. It isn’t just the wife at risk. These two are destroying the integrity of their own characters and building themselves into a lie. They can not even lay claim to love between themselves, because love is not love without truth. Love can not be captured and hung on the wall like a half-inch wrench to be used at the owner’s discretion. Love serves good to everything involved in a situation according to the truth about what is good. That is why God is so contemptuous of partiality. It replaces this truth about love with the lie that her and I count, but you and you and you don‘t.
-----Then we start contradicting the Bible as a result of our failure to actually love. The Bible is very clear about adultery and sexual immorality having no place in the believer’s life. Yet every rationalization imaginable is made to find a place in the church for folks engaging in such behavior. By failing to communicate disapproval silent approval is given., the character of the church is lowered, the saltiness of the salt is lost, and the community spoils worse.
-----Love can not be restricted. It is either engaged or abandoned. It does its thing to whatever it contacts, and its thing is always the right thing because it is inseparable from the truth. It isn’t that just the wife is threatened. The whole community is threatened, and your advise about the situation is spot on.

Love you all,
Steve Corey