October 19, 2007

Loosing It

I recently heard a speaker who took us down his personal memory lane. As a young child he practiced self-discipline in order to please his father. “Later, as a youngster,” he said, “I decided I was going to lose my discipline”. He was so matter-of-fact in his statement that it reminded me of hearing a teenager casually say they ‘lost’ their virginity. I appreciate the speaker’s admission that he made a conscious decision to become undisciplined. Paul says, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” (2 Tim 1:7 NIV) The truth is that we all stand guilty of giving away, throwing away, and walking away from God’s good gifts.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Gail;
-----I became mad at God when I was about twenty-five and decided I was going to determine that He did not exist. It lasted for about six months. It just did not make any sense. Every line of reasoning I used on myself to demonstrate His non-existence merely highlighted the sensibility of acknowledging His existence. Similarly, it seems to me that deciding to lose self-discipline might also require the use of it.
-----I suppose practicing self-discipline to please one’s father is a decent first step to learning self-discipline, but it must carry further. I can understand his impulse to throw it away when grown, especially if his father were very demanding and punitive. Somehow I grew my desire to please my Dad and make him proud of me into a desire to please my Father and make Him proud of me. And I think it was because my Dad was demanding, but only demonstrably punitive. I was punished for the idiotic things I did which resulted in modest damage or less. But when I did something moronic and fully damaging, he was merciful. He let the pain of those damages be enough. I think Dad’s approach was godly enough for me to make the connection.
-----Consequently, I have always strived for more self-discipline than I have, and I have always considered myself undisciplined. I could never uncouple from the idea that God is Who He says He is, and that that should effect the way I see and do things. So I never really thought about whether I gave away, threw away, walked away, left behind, or just never had that extra self-discipline I perceive to be missing. I just realize that I am away from a better gift, and I keep looking for a way to get to it.