January 29, 2008
Holy Kiss
At one time our congregation functioned under a church board which was made up of both elders and deacons. Years ago there was some division in the church so I decided to go straight to the horse’s mouth – the board – and ask what was going on. Taking charge of the meeting, the pastor stood up and ridiculed me in front of the group saying, “How dare you accuse these fine men of not being compassionate?” Even though I felt thoroughly tarred and feathered, I was able to tell the pastor not to put words in my mouth, or in the board’s ears. My questions were answered by the chairman and as I left the meeting the pastor followed me into a side room where others were waiting their turn to speak to the board. Coming up to me he planted a kiss on my lips as if to say, ‘All is forgiven. We won’t hold this against each other, now will we?’ I don’t know if the kiss was meant to embarrass me or if he wanted to show others in the room that he greeted me with a holy kiss (Ro16:16). On second thought, let’s rule out the idea of a holy kiss. If it were his practice to kiss everyone with whom he’d had a confrontation, I’m sure I would have heard about it before it happened to me.
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4 comments:
Gail;
-----Judas was once in the kissing mood, too. Granted, his kiss of betrayal was before those assembled for the purpose of hauling off the kissed one, while the kiss of betrayal you received was merely before those who happened to be there. The similarity may be in the kiss, not the audience. See it through the pastor’s mind. No doubt he acknowledged within himself that he and everyone else in the meeting had been too harsh with you. It is also likely that he understood how thin walls are, and although words generally do not pass through them, tones often do, if not by sound, then more certainly by facial expression, and worse, by conversation. And of the assembly in the waiting room who may have picked up the tones, he could fear a few might be there to voice complaints and concerns as well. He probably was sincere in making some sort of amends with you, but their being made in the waiting room and the kiss are both suspect. Inside the meeting room before those who witnessed the crime is where the amends were proper. The whole mess is good for nothing more than a chuckle and a lesson, because really, all you and I can say about the pastor’s motives is, “…may be…no doubt…it is also likely…he could…he probably.” His whole intention inside and out may have been golden, and he may only have tried to deliver within the context of a big circumstantial blunder. By now, I suppose, time has told, or at least, strongly suggested.
Steve,
Interesting. Some of your thoughts on possible motivation had not entered my mind, but I certainly find them plausible.
Gail, I was tickled by your blog yesterday. It is a little like our District Attorney's problems. Although he is married, he and his chief employee had an affair in the 80s & have been sending each other love emails on the county computer. In addition to that, he had sent & received racial jokes & slurs on his county computer. He is in trouble. Dumb dumb dumb.
Years ago I had to terminate a woman. I didn't literally terminate her, just her contract…as far as I know she’s still alive. She was attractive, had breast enhancements, etc. She did not want to leave & I am sure that if I had ever said suggestive things to her or things with double meanings or hugged I would have been hit with a sexual harassment suit. I have always felt it is better to error on the side of sanity rather than get into something that is only going to be problems.
Gail;
----This so much reminded me of the elders' meeting I was called into a few years ago for answering that letter of the music minister that had been intercepted and circulated. After the elders' best efforts to rake me over the coals had failed, and the meeting had been concluded, it seemed to me that all of the "hurt" they insisted the music minister had felt over my public answer to his letter made public may actually have been real. I knew by their demeanors and expressions that their insistance for an apology during the meeting was pure politics. But now that the meeting was over, where an apology could be genuine, I hurried to where he sat, knelt down beside him and apologized. Then I kissed him on the temple. I didn't care what anyone thought about it. I just thought it was in order.
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