August 25, 2008

The Not-So-Good Old Days

Rather than a reunion, my high school class just had a 60th Birthday party, cake and all. We didn’t have a designated MC, but one classmate decided we should pass the microphone around and each of us should tell what we enjoyed or liked about being a member of the Class of ’66. I quickly searched my deteriorating memory banks and discovered I could recall more things I disliked than those I enjoyed. There were pimples, feeling like a wall flower and being a poor academic student. As the microphone was handed to me, I didn’t want to go back and talk about the ‘good old days’. I have the same discomfort when it comes to discussing my pre-Christian days, or the side trips I took after becoming a Christian. I envy those who can honestly and freely share their Christian shortcomings and stumbles. They have a tremendous witness.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Gail;
----I don’t pick around in my past too much, either. I only get two or three rocks turned over, two or three enjoyable memories, until I turn over a rock sheltering a very nasty scorpion. I have a bunch of scorpions sprinkled around in my past. All are ready to inject any available frame of mind with the poisonous memories of how pitifully I have failed before. I know all this venom is neutralized by the blood of the Lamb, but unfortunately that application does not erase memory.
----Psychologically, the past is important to me. It is where many of my weaknesses and sinful tendencies were made. Even though the past hurts, hanging around it a bit helps me to maintain a little more self control than otherwise.
----But I can not hang around it too much, or its venom may discredit my perception of where I am going. Paul tells us to not think of ourselves too highly, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith God has given us. (Rom 12:3). The witty one of Proverbs tells us to let others praise us; it that is not for us to do for ourselves. (Prov 27:2). So I often recognize my weaknesses, often refer to our imperfections. Then I begin wondering if I do this because I have not trimmed enough dead layers off my behavior, and I know it. Like, maybe I have just given up on the trimming thing because every layer trimmed reveals a layer to be trimmed, and there just doesn’t seem to be an end to it. But I know it won’t matter how long I sit and merely observe the next layer, and talk about it, and treat it real because it is. Jesus will hand me the pairing knife if I do not pick it up soon enough myself. Then I wonder if I should probably be talking more about the wonders God calls into the place of the layers, and if He has actually called many of those into my life.
----Oh well. I can’t do it perfectly, so I will do what I can. He will take care of the rest. It is a bit of a cop out, but He calls it mercy.

Love,
Steve Corey