July 03, 2012
Emotional Whiplash
Even though my mom’s funeral will be today, other activities of life
are still scheduled and moving forward. On Saturday I went to a 50th
Anniversary Celebration, but it was awkward trying to celebrate while I was
being comforted with sympathy. On Sunday I opted to stay home from church because
sympathy from my church family would likely have overridden my worship. Grief
co-mingling with celebration is a strange concoction. “For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore
let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and
wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth.”
(1 Cor 1:7b – 8 NIV)
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Gail;
-----Both of my parents are still alive. I have little doubt they’re known by Jesus. So their deaths will be good changes for them. But I still don’t know how I will take it when they die. It is comforting to know where they immediately will be then. And knowing that I will be there soon, too, should make their being absent from here only a thing of patience. Yet emotions of grief waft through you like odors you can neither touch nor wave aside.
-----Memories are about more than the past. They are also patterns of information stitching up plans. And planning takes place on far subtler levels than mere intellectual constructs devised for scheduling activities. Every motion of your body and every word you speak are also sub-consciously planned instantly before their doing. Even feelings and ideas are planned in kind of an anticipatory way. Much of the information used in all this sub-conscious, routine “planning” came to you through events and situations you learned from precious interactions with your loved ones. It has emotional affects attached which keep bringing the person’s absence back to mind.
------So it is that we have to keep reminding ourselves we will not be experiencing our loved one again for a while. That’s sad. Sometimes the missing loved one was a supplier of important needs, like a good parent is to a child. That’s even harder. But through the emotions must come a resignation. That all things work good to those who love Him is true. That you choose the path but He directs the steps is your security. The situation has to be ok because it is real. Nothing is real unless it has received God’s nod to be real. So it is important that your following decisions are made in good accord with what has become. Eventually steeping in sympathy is just the wrong chord for the tune which needs to be carried on.
Love you all,
Steve Corey
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