May 27, 2008
Grief
As I’ve discussed church turmoil over the last couple years, one reader asked me if some folks are ‘harboring extremely hard feelings regarding their previous church experience’. The inquiry was not judgmental, but rather out of concern for fellow believers. I suppose the answer lies in the word harboring, which means, “to give shelter or refuge; to hold especially persistently in the mind.” (Webster’s). In context with church strife, I believe that what some may view as ‘hard feelings’ are in fact signs of grief. I don’t think there is a prescribed way to grieve over the loss of one’s church fellowship. I’m always one for wanting to tidy things up quickly, whether it is hard feelings or grief. However, the Holy Spirit doesn’t always heal quickly.
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Gail;
-----I have this funny feeling that I certainly am one to whom your reader refers. Thank you for speaking so well for me. I have experienced a lot of grief for what was done to my brothers and sisters by that church, and for the many other churches also being led into partisanship. Some people could care less if another walks into their fellowship and changes everything they have enjoyed and considered expressive to the Lord. To them, it is six of one or half a dozen of the other. And that is good, somewhat good. But other people view the things they enjoy and consider expressive to the Lord as part of their loyalty to Him. Forty years ago those things were admirable characteristics of worship, and they learned to cling to them. And that is not bad, in fact, it is good. They cling to worshipful expressions that carry the meanings of their souls to the Lord.
-----”One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” turned my stomach with contempt. I remember McMurphy as somehow likeable, maybe even because of his efforts to rally against tyranny. However, Ratched, the oppressive nurse, was obsessed with her need to be in control of him to the point that she had a steel shaft stuck into his brain, destroying his connection to his emotive processes. I was furious! They took whom they should have loved and destroyed him with their controlling hatred!
-----That is not the only cuckoo’s nest I have experienced. What was done to those at that church was very much the same as that lobotomy done to McMurphy. These people’s emotive expressions, the very connection of their faith, adoration, and loyalty to their God was snipped. Broken. Ended. In its place was given to them confusion. Noise they did not understand. And when they complained about their familiar expressions no longer having an outlet (that is in a big part what the morning worship service is) they were called selfish and narcissistic. They were belittled and intimidated into either silence, or withdrawal from the church they themselves had built. Either would do for the lobotomizers.
-----I understand that this was not done to them from intentional harm. But that is why misbehavior in the church continues. Those who are doing are so sure that they are serving God, and God alone. They are sure God has given them a vision, or something some other way spoken just to them. Then, they think they know what God intends for everyone else. And off they march with the authority the Bible merely seems to give them, insisting everyone around do things the way they say. After all, they have the vision! They have great devotion! So they perform the lobotomies in the name of the Lord, trying to make everyone else march like they march.
-----I stand in honor regarding my experiences with that church, not in hard feelings. I struggled to call the leaders to allow those who came to express their hearts to the Lord as they knew how - yea, even to do as the Word commands - to please them for their edification, and to serve them their need. I tried to convince the leaders that the Bible gave them authority to serve, not to command. That they did not listen, that they sent lies about me to the church, and the boot out the door I was given are battle scares I wear with pride in the Lord, for they were gotten in a fight against partiality and division. The fact that I continue to speak and write about these things evidences the continued existence of such spiritual crime within the church. Shame upon me if I were to sit down in silence, after battling this far, to only watch what is wicked proceed throughout His Holy Bride. Some say pray and wait. So be it for them. I will pray and fight for the integrity of the fellowship in the light of the Word. And I will continue to do so whether it looks to some like a harbor for bad feelings, or to others like a harbor for desiring a fellowship in joy, peace, and the doing of right to one another.
-----I understand there was no judgment in your reader’s comment. Please understand what looks like judgment in my response is strength of conviction for a fellowship where all are accepted, acknowledged, and comforted, where no one must change to be like anyone else.
I can not help but love my brothers and sisters,
They are my Lord’s
Steve Corey
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