July 24, 2006
Self-Examination
Recently a senior member of the congregation shared with me that he no longer takes part in communion because of the dissention in the church. “I’m not proud of it, but as long as I’m not right with the church and the church isn’t right with the Lord, I can’t take communion. I think it’d be hypocritical.” As if to reassure me that his faith was still in tact he continued, “I don’t blame Jesus Christ [for the spiritually unhealthy atmosphere], I blame the church.” ‘A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup.’ 1 Cor 11:28 NIV
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Gail;
----I hope that our senior brother also has found some blame for me, as well. I am not a great surgeon, and I look back at the spiritual battle at that church, what is at it's heart, the events that have transpired, and the damage (both good and bad) that has resulted, and I am reminded of the parable of the wheat and tares. I believe that this parable applies, in a sense, to the very situation we see in that church now. I refuse to call the contemporary leaders "the weeds". They are good and zealous men. But the careless ideologies that have grown from their zealous and hurried efforts for the Lord are weeds very noctuous to the truth presented in the Word. And the attempt to adjust those ideologies to a closer reflection of the whole Word has caused a lot of hurt and pain. I suffer inside over that.
----But I also suffer inside over the hurt and pain that those careless ideologies have been causing And I fear for where those ideologies might lead if allowed to grow uninhibitted. Moreover, I can not lay claim to perfection of thought and action myself. And I suffer knowing that, while calling the contemporary leaders to understand and practise, freedom of, acknowledgement of, and service to others, I have faults of my own to address.
----When I take communion, I have to assess myself. My worthiness to take communion is not based on the rightness or wrongness of those I am partaking with. It depends on my rightness or wrongness toward them. Even though I have found the disregard and disrespect for a large number of our brothers and sisters in the church to be appalling by Biblical standards, that is not my behavior that should prevent me from taking communion. That is for their self-examination.
----Believe me, I have been examining myself deeply in regard to laying the actions and ideologies of the contemprary leaders in the light of a few Biblical imperatives and publically calling for the church to take them to heart and call for peace and unity. Although I have heard, understood, and even agreed with some of the logic that condemns what I have done, I also know and understand that while we live in a world where Satan is the prince and power of the air, there will necessarily be some spiritual battles to wage for the sake of the purity of the church.
----I only wish my marksmanship had been better, my surgical hand more steady, and my behavior more loving.
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